PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I need to align my fucking chakras
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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