Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
