Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
