Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
