come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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