Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Pants are for mortals
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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