i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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