I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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