I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
