No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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