was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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