I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
