so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You left your phone here
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