If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize