If that was your dad, he is hot
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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