8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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