This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
