I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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