angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
