Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
