I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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