omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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