so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
