i think i have herpe
just one?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
