id be glad to
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
