He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
