She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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