Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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