I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
