i don't plan on having that self control this summer
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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