She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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