i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
