the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
