My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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