Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
