We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
