A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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