I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
