We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
