oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize