Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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