Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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