we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i was born a porn star she said
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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