you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
so much tequila, so little girl.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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