why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
