TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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