upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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