At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
