Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
