Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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