STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
