I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
