he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
