If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
