First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
