How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
