You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
