Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
