Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
