hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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