i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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