Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
