I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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